With all the opportunities today for families to succeed, it is surprising that the rate of divorce hovers around fifty percent, and many children are raised by only one parent. Family problems can range from the normal angst-ridden teenager that argues with his or her parents, to abuse or neglect, to divorce. It seems that while families today have many options to seek counseling or therapy, they might not be utilizing their benefits. Many children progress through a parents divorce by talking to friends who have gone through a similar situation. Children also tend to take sides and turn the parents against each-other. This theme of a fragmented family life is apparent throughout society today. Divorce turns parents against eachother. Child abuse alienates children. Poor communication failes to guide our youth to make wise decisions. War tears families apart by death or distance. Poverty separates families living in different parts of the country. Education levels can make it difficult for family members to communicate to one another. The theme of fragmentation is so important it is even expressed in many young adult literature pieces, including Fragments by Jeffrey Johnston, A Long Way Gone: Memoirs of a Boy Soldier by Ishmael Beah, and The Road of the Dead by Kevin Brooks. Each of these contemporary authors addresses family issues differently but equally. It may take some deeper examinations of these texts to see a connection, but it is nevertheless meaningful.
In A Long Way Gone: Memoirs of a Boy Solider, Ishmael Beah describes his childhood in Sierra Leone where he was forced to join the army and kill his people, including family and friends he came in contact with. War can be devastating to families. Sons and daughters are killed in combat, families are torn apart by bombs and gunfire, and sometimes people may be forced to murder their own family members, or be killed themselves. Brainwashing these soldiers leaves them with no emotional connection to the people they are forced to kill. In this particular memoir, Beah is told he must kill all those he comes across that are not fighting for the “right” side. This means anyone in his village, including family. At one point he is confronted by his father, and emotionlessly realizes that he could in fact shoot him. In the end it is never mentioned if Beah goes back and tries to find his family, so it is assumed he cut off all communication.
Violent crimes (even those practiced in war) are so prevalent today that we can turn on the TV and see any number of “Cold Case” or crime scene shows that attempt to solve murders. In The Road of the Dead, two brothers set out to solve the rape and murder of their older sister. It is important to mention the closeness the siblings shared, but I also must point out the lack of a parent in their search. Their mother stayed at home, too emotional and unstable to continue her normal life after the murder, so her two teenage sons put their lives in danger to avenge their sister’s murder. Why didn’t the boys let authority solve the crime? They felt there was extreme corruption from the police department and wanted to make sure that someone was punished. In today’s society it is common to hear about retaliation of gang members where someone has been killed. It is common to hear about corruption and scandals in covering up crimes. It is uncommon to hear of two teenage boys traveling hundreds of miles from home with assumed permission from their parents to seek justice. The difference between watching these television shows and reading this book, is that it is unrealistic and a bad example to set for young adults that they should take the law into their own hands. It is not safe and also not legal; youth who commit crimes are punished.
In Fragments, a family is initially torn apart by the aggressive, dangerous and illegal behaviors of one of their sons. His behavior puts him in jail and the family chooses to move away and forget about the problems he has caused them. The younger son struggles with the loss of his brother and becomes more separated from his family. The family does provide the younger son with therapy which ultimately helps him face what really happened to his brother. Families today need to understand the importance of seeking professional help to get them through hard times and broken down communication. It sometimes takes individual and family therapy to overcome the lack of communication and love in a family. Where has the communication gone? Children today might learn more from the streets then they do from their parents.
Families today are mere fragments of the families of the past. Think about the Cleaver’s, they talked about everything together. Society needs to address ways to effectively strengthen familial bonds. Promoting family counseling, and parenting classes (which proved helpful to Jolly in Virginia Euer Wolff’s Make Lemonade) are two great ways to strengthen parenting skills. Well prepared parents communicate better with their children. In cases of divorce, communication between parents and the children will help keep the transition peaceful and will make it clear that the children did not influence their parent’s decision. A good way for youth to learn about family issues is through literature. Stories like the ones I just mentioned give insight to what other people are going through, and how you are never alone. It may inspire outlets to vent frustration, new tools for communication and ways to approach sensitive topics with family members. There are many books published today that are there for the purpose to help explain that bad things happen, but there are always people who can help. Clear and effective communication is the key to overcoming fragmented family life. Families help you through the hardest times in life therefore it is crucial to stay together.
3 comments:
I really liked your essay it tied the books together in a nice way that I had not previously looked at. But I kind of disagree with the nuclear family being the best kind of family. People in the fifties had problems too, and comparing themselves to perfect families like the Cleavers can make their own unique family feel inadequate. All kinds of families can provide a child with the stability and love they need to grow up and be a good person.
i was tying the families in the stories i read to the cleaver's. i didnt say that was the best kind of family, maybe thats just something that seemed implied. thats not what i meant. i focused on their communication styles in this essay. i grew up in a family like the ones i read about. no father, a mother that wasnt around, and abuse. i grew up to be a fine example of what you can overcome. i am in no way saying any family style is the correct way.
thanks for the clarification, amanda--i admire the way you and Stacey discuss your different thoughts and perceptions about family--very respectful and well-done. clearly, you may not be as far apart as perhaps first perceived.
I too like your essay and i'm thinking a lot about the theme or issue of family in the current world. my sense is that there is a great deal of focus on the importance of family in the current world, especially if you listen in to the presidential debates taking place currently. at the same time, though, it also appears that there are changes taking place in the way Americans conceive "family", with more options and structures being valued and promoted now than ever before. Also, I tend to agree that we seem now to see the making of a successful family as something that does not "naturally" occur, but that often requires support and consultation (sort of like marriage).
with regard to your comments about the boys setting out in search of justice in the Brooks novel, i found myself agreeing with you that vigilantism is not something to be honored and endorsed, but disagreeing that the novel may be "unrealistic" in depicting the effort of two teens to strike out on their own in search of justice. it seems to me that we live in an age where people are deeply skeptical of the ability of "mainstream" institutions such as church, government, or even schools to provide for all of their needs, to address issues or inequities in a fair and especially immediate way. looked at from this perspective, then, the boys independent effort to find justice seems to me very realistic in that it is consistent with a skepticism toward authority that I see in the current world, and also with the notion that teens are growing up faster and faster and taking on more responsibilities and initiatives than ever before.
in any case, i do think it is fair to say that YAL, by definition, will usually represent actions like this that are exceedingly uncommon. however, i'm not sure its fair to say its "unrealistic." teens strike out on their own in all kinds of little ways throughout adolescence, often without the knowledge and support of their parents. maybe the novel just takes this very common response to issues and blows it up and puts it into a more dramatic context so as to hold our attention and also explore the consequences that result from such actions?
thanks again for the stimulating essay--cheers,
tp
Post a Comment